What I've been up to

Derbyyyy

Mushroom seats
Heavy Bag
Hola
"Don't forget to sign-in!"
That leather smell mixed with sweat
Chucks off
Skates on
Knee pads cinched tight
Elbows and wrists next
Water water water water water
Gums lined with plastic protection
On the track!!!
5, 10, 20 laps
Jump into squats
Stretching never felt so good
Hit
Block
Speed up
Jammer loose!
Catch
Pack communication is key
So tired
So sweaty
Break
Ever try to pee wearing skates?
Not easy
Defense: What do we do?
Kill that Jammer!
Life essence
Offense: What do we do?
Mark up
Jammer through the pack
Hurts so good
awesome people
great exercise
Fun fun fun fun
Addicted
fans
adrenaline
team work
Derby.

The cemetery

Haven't written in ages, so I figured I would start with something short.

My thoughts on graveyards.

Personally I love graveyards. They are beautiful, peaceful and pleasant to walk around in. I have heard many people focus more on the creepiness aspect or or just the death side of it, but there is so much more than that!

My reasons for loving cemeteries:

1. They are picturesque. Its like a free sculpture garden! Most cemetery grounds are well kept and landscaped into perfection. If I spent hundreds or thousands of dollars on a headstone I would want people to come and admire it. There are also really funny headstones, makes me wish I had known the owners. A classic example of graveyard beauty is of course Mt. Hope, not only is the landscape gorgeous but there are many monuments that were done by famous artists. Its like being in a museum. which leads to my next point.

2. The history can be astounding. Have you known the thrill of coming across the oldest grave at a cemetery? I have been in quite a few cemeteries and have found civil war graves or even older. Back at Mt. Hope there are countless famous people buried there. Then there is family history. Seeing where members of your family are buried keeps you connected to their lives.

3. Its quiet. The peacefulness in a graveyard is great for walking around, thinking and relaxing. Heck I've been known to play guitar in cemeteries before, and stargaze in one to.

Those are my reasons, and no I'm not a creeper or obsessed with dead people. I just like to experience beauty, history and a quiet moment here and there.

Of '09

Whew, its been forever since I've written one of these. I love writing, it is the only time when I feel completely able to express myself and I can do so unapologetically. For starters let me just get this off my chest, 2009 has been one of the worst years of my life. Not that nothing good happened, but the cons definitely outweighed the pros.

Both of my dads parents passed away this year,before this I have never lost anyone close to me. I didn't really expect for the loss of my grandparents to effect me a lot, but it did, probably in more ways than I know. My best friend Sarah left me to go to college in Nebraska, the nerve of her going off and learning about Jesus... (that was sarcasm my friends). It's been kinda hard not having her around, not being able to just hang out with her and do absolutely nothing.

This year has also been one of the hardest in a spiritual sense. There have been countless struggles that seem to constantly bombard me, as soon as I get control of one another comes right at me. Trying to deal with a lot of different issues has really affected my prayer life and how I view God. God has been so quiet this year, this has resulted in added frustration and anger. I would have thought that a year full of struggles and hard times I would be feeling God's comfort, love and direction, this has not been the case. Things seemed to be looking up when I decided to attend RIT for international studies, an area that I thought I was very passionate about. It felt so good to get some direction and have a purpose. Unfortunately this was not God's plan for my life. After just one quarter I knew this wasn't for me, I hated it. If it wasn't for my major I would have loved it. Being involved on campus and seeing my friends constantly was great, I finally felt like I was a part of something. But hating my major and the $25,000 in loans is not the best way to feel like I belong somewhere. Now I have been really trying not to focus on the lack of guidance and direction in my life. I have no job and no idea what God has planned for my life.

I am aware that God is trying to strengthen me and mold me, and I hope I am up to the challenge.

Not everything about this year has been bad, and I have no regrets. It's just a very frightening time, a time where I need to put my complete in God, so much easier said than done...

Now for the positive. I am a small group leader!!!!! I simply adore me group and co-leader. I could not have asked for a better group of people. I believe that God had me attend RIT for a quarter just so I could get a chance to be a part of Diversity small group.

Another positive, my boyfriend. We have been together for over a year now! He's is a wonderful man and I am very blessed that God has allowed us to be together. He's always there to calm me down and give me perspective when I go to him with my problems. He provides me with much needed balance in my life. I am a huge worrier and Harry never seems to worry about anything. Harry, if you're reading this, you'll never know how much you mean to me.

Getting my thoughts down in typed or printed words is like a salve for my soul. Peace always accompanies writing.

Well folks, that about sums it up. Thanks for tuning in and until next time I remain simply myself.

As promised

Humphrey was a easy going butterfly. He minded his own business, but that isn't to say that he was unfriendly. One day he decided to fly to the neighboring clump of daffodils to check on his friend Jocasta the bumble bee. Upon arrival at Jocasta's door he was ushered in for some nectar tea and pleasant conversation. They talked for a long time about everything and nothing. After Jocasta poured Humphrey his fourth cup of tea she shared some startling information. Her neighbor Lilith the June bug was attacked by an unknown creature, it had tried to suffocate her! Witness accounts said that it had flown on shimmery wings and it was completely covered in eyes. After it had descended on poor Lilith it had fallen to the ground defeated and nothing had been able to rouse it. His interest piqued, Humphrey asked the whereabouts of this frightening beast. Having ascertained its location Humphrey arrived at the scene of the previous days horrible occurrence. Humphrey, being of logical mind, deduced at once that this was no living being. It lay flat on the ground covered with translucent bumps. Having no idea as to the true identity of this strange object Humphrey decided to call upon the knowledge of Nathaniel raven. Nathaniel Raven had a sharp mind and an even sharper beak that may prove useful in this quandary. When Nathaniel arrived he immediately began his examination of the object. At first he kept his distance but curiosity compelled him to inch closer and closer until he was standing on it. The bumps held his weight, but not stiffly, his feet were cushioned above the ground. Nathaniel gave a little hop and the bumps redistributed his weight, "its almost like being help up by air" said Nathaniel. trying to discover what the bumps were made of Nathaniel decided to tap it with his beak. The second the tip of Nathaniel's beak touched the bump air burst out of it with a loud "pop" and Nathaniel flew back in shock. Having no injuries Nathaniel flew back to try it again. The same reaction occurred, the bump exploded and a loud popping noise rang in their ears.

Yvette was playing in the park by her house with her new toy pony. She was startled from her playing by a series of strange popping noises . She went to the clump of bushes where the sound was emerging from and saw, to her utter astonishment and delight, a raven stabbing at a plastic thing on the ground and a butterfly flying around in excitement. Yvette thought to herself "stupid animals, haven;t they ever seen bubble wrap?"

"My life sucks more than yours" and other fun social games

Have you ever been hanging out with people or trying to talk to someone that always tries to outdo you on the "suck-o-meter"? Than you have been part of a lovely game that I like to call "My life sucks more than yours", MLSMTY for short. Confused? here is an example:
Person 1- It's getting late, I should go home and go to bed. I have to work tomorrow from 9-4.
Person 2- Oh yeah? well I have to work form 8-5 tomorrow. So I have to get up earlier than you. Therefore my life sucks more than yours.
(this is not an actual conversation that I have had, just to let you know.)

Granted, I have been known to play this game as well, and I apologize.. This has got me wondering, is this an American thing? Do we as Americans, who are normally workaholics, desire to trump people by having the least amount of free time? Are we just looking for a dose of pity? I wish to understand.

Sometimes when you are genuinely trying to tell people how you have been you might bring up something bad that has recently happened to you or something that has got you frustrated people might play mlsmty. It seems like the more crappy things you have going on in your life the more validation you have.

Maybe if we all banded together to rid the world of MLSMTY our lives would seem much happier. If we spent as much time focusing on the positive side of our lives as the negative our lives would feel less sucky.
I am not saying that you can never talk about the bad things in our lives, just that if someone is talking about a sucky occurrence sit back and listen instead of trying to come up with your own sucky occurence. This way its more like a conversation and less like a battle of suck.

Oh no! this turned out a lot more ranty than I had intended. I swear my next post will be about butterflies and bubblewrap...or not...

My brain: For Dummies

Many of you probably know that I enjoy using analogies. Some of which don't always make sense to some of you but that's just how things work in my brain.

My brain is like a dryer. Things just kinda tumble round and round unless I physically unload it. I can't try taking things out before they are "dry" this just does not work. Because than all I end up with is unfinished thoughts and ideas. I can't speak my mind until they have tumbled around enough for me to truly understand how I am feeling and why I am feeling/thinking that way. I also shouldn't allow things to stay in my brain too long either, they might catch fire or waste time and energy. That was a free look into the mind of Courtney. The next excursion may be slightly more expensive, maybe a penny for my thoughts...

I love making lists, that is one way I get things out of my head. I love being able to see the things I have to do and having them on paper allows me to prioritize them better. If I don't list the things I have to do I just constantly worry about having to remember them all and they seem to multiply in my head. Yay lists!

My sister is leaving in less than a week! On my birthday she and my dad will drive to yellow stone where Steph is going to be working for the summer, some birthday gift right? I will miss you Stephy!!!

My boyfriend will also be leaving for the summer to go back home for Co-op. I was looking forward to spending the summer with him, although he would still be working even if he was up here he would not have to be thinking about school. It would have been nice to spend time together without him having to think about homework, projects or anything school related. I am really glad that he will enjoy what he is doing, I would rather have him like his work someplace else than to be here and be unsatisfied. I think him going away will be a good way for us to strengthen our relationship, God knows what he is doing.

A lot of my friends will be leaving soon, Nick, Michelle, Rachel and my best friend Sarah!!!! All of these people going away makes me want to leave as well. I really would love to get away and experience a sense of independence away from the people I know. Which kinda sucks since this summer I will really have to tighten my budget, so I can't go on too many trips. I will be going to RIT in the fall for international studies so I know that I will get my chance to leave and travel. I guess I just have always hated feeling like the one left behind. Don't get me wrong I love Rochester, I really do, but I won't be satisfied if I never get to see the world, especially Egypt.

My intention is not for this to come across as me being discontent, jealous or unable to enjoy my time in rochester with everyone gone. I am excited for everyone who gets to experience a new change of sceneray and meet new people! I am contect with staying in Rochester for the summer, I have to get in as much time with the people who are leaving as possible!

Wow, this was only going to be a paragraph about my weird brain and how it operates, lol.

Must...keep.....eyes...open....little...while...longer...

I am sitting in my living room, doing absolutely nothing because i feel tired. There is no reason I should feel tired because I have done nothing all day except chill. I should be doing something productive but I am not. That is all.