Whatever it Takes

I was kinda freaking out a little last night, and here is why. It all started when I was at connect and I heard a song that Pastor and Mrs. Hannah sang. I don't remember the exact words of the song but I do remember a verse that talked about taking the dearest things from me so that I can be closer to you lord. That really touched me, and it wasn't just the Hannah's song, seeing them at the hospital and reading Nay's update shows the trust they have in God.

After hard thinking about the true meaning of trusting in God I prayed that God would do whatever it takes to make me close to him. After praying that thought I kinda forgot about all of this, and went on my merry way, but lately I have been reminded that this is what I need. I keep reading in the bible about people suffering, going through trials, not hearing from God, and having everything taken from them. I was reading Job last night, keeping Harry company while he was working on his computer, never for a minute did Job doubt God's love or perfect plan. I haven't been through anything nearly as horrible as Job and yet I have accused God of not loving me, forgetting about me and never being there for me, all of which are lies. It promises that God will never leave me or forsake me.

Steph had her bollywood party last week and we watched a movie called Straight from the Heart, you must be asking what this has to do with the rest of my blog, lol. In the movie the two main guys are talking in a church, here is what they say-
Guy 1- In my opinion God is everywhere, in fact God is between us right now
Guy 2- God is not between us, he is within us.
Guy 1- If he is within us, why does he hurt us?
Guy 2- Because we think of him when in pain and forget him when we are happy. He gives us sorrow so that we learn to love, and if we love selflessly it takes us closer to him.

Life lessons from bollywood movies, who would have thought?

Back to why I was freaking out, I finally put all of this together last night and decided that God must be trying to teach me something. Then I thought, if God is teaching me all this he must be planning to turn my life into a vast pit of sorrow and anguish. I started thinking it was stupid to pray for God to draw me closer to him through any means necessary, I like my comfortable life just the way it is, boring but free from any bumps. After calming myself down I realized, I don't want to live my life the way I always have, I'm tired of being comfortable and having everything come easy. I want to trust God because I sincerely know that he knows whats best for me. even though its scary to put my quality of life in God's hands I know its better there than having myself hold on to it.

I dedicate this to Nay and the whole Hannah family, you are an example to us all. Nay, I keep praying for you and your family. I know its hard but if you only knew how many people have accepted Christ or have grown closer to him I know it would make you happy.

Sorry this is such a long post, thinking all these thoughts take only seconds, but takes about half an hour to put down in words. I hope I am ready for God to use me and to mold and shape, I want to be the best christian I can be. I think I am ready to graduate from christian preschool.